Note:

Another noe: You all still fucking suck.

You all fucking suck.

You all suck.

Pumpkin

Everyone hail to the pumpkin man!
Everybody scream!
Everybody scream!

Skeleton Jack is king of the pumpkin patch
Everyone hail to the pumpkin king.

Anyway, let's throw some pumpkin granades and get some experiense.
Btw, rawr<3

Crack pipe,knife,cell phone,headphones, cork, pot, table, electrified fence, table flowers, another cell phone, sexy radio, siggaretes... And some pills against pregnant women. So I think I got all I need. Fuck off :)

My Hat.

A Poem By Kim.

My hat
I got it from a magic cat

It said
I should be dead

But it was a fucking cat so who the hell cares?
Britney Spears?
Yeah I think she cares

Anyway, my hat
With it, I always have my way
Sometimes I wonder if my friends are gay

A dog came to me
It started to pee
In my hat
There was a hiding cat

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HAT?!

My bad shoe.

A Poem By Kim.

My bad shoe
I have no clue
What to do?

Destroyed, by a sock
God, they suck

I can't understand
Who was driving that van?
Throwing socks out of a car door
Oh, how I adore

My lovely shoes
Once was cool
Now they're screwed

Taiwan they come from
And Taiwan they go to
All in order
To fix my shoe

In a pack, I send them back
Taiwan they go
Sometimes I wonder if my friends are homos

In a pack, they come back
They were hacked
By a Japanese child.

The End.

My bad socks.

They have holes...
They make me want to scream!
They are truely, a pain in the arse.
One time, I tried them.

Had a big hole
My toe was sticking out
Yet, I remember the cold
The wind blew softly around it

Magnified by the thouch of my toe
I jumped up and down in my bed
My bad socks...
They have holes

My bad socks, what a pain
When I washed them, a hole ripping my washmachine
I yet not understand
What they plan to do

Perhaps destroy my shoe?
A hole in my sock
Making my toes cold
I wish I was a mole

Once again, I wear these fucking socks
They're bad socks indeed
A hole is what I feel
Empty, yet cold

That's my toe

A poem by Kim.
Poem name: Bad socks 4 life.

Well well

Well, I haven't written anything in quiet some time now. So I decided to peek by and post another useless message with no sense what so ever. Well first I'd like to update all my fellow pirate smokers with the latest news:

1: Timmy started smoking again! Hurray! Timmy's mom though he smoked like a "normal" person and thus was not allowed to smoke. But once she learned the secrets of pirate smoking her world showed her the path to glory and freedom!

2: Timmy died of ... Let's say "Natural Causes". His mother had nothing to do with this! Oh no, she didn't pick up a knife after going wild on some LSD. OH no she didn't do that, not at all.
Note: If anyone is wondering why Timmy had a big er... "Wound" in his stomach and all that, that's natural causes. Nature was pissed off...

3: Old Robert is now holding a concert for all us pirate smokers! Robert whom is 94 years old has been pirate smoking ever since he was 8 years old and is the oldest among us. His birthday is at the same time of the concert, everyone wish Old Robert a happy birthday! Or else he'll come to your house and ... Nevermind that! Just wish him a happy birthday or else were all screwed!

4: ALLEN DIED, WHY! OH GOD WHY DID THEY KILL ALLEN?! WHY??? GOD COULDN'T YOU HAVE TAKEN ME INSTEAD?

5: Nevermind the post above. That was more of a reminder to my self.

Ok, enough of the pirate smoking news! Here's the random bullshit none of you have waited for!

If someone is wondering about the raindeers in Amazonas then I'd like to clear one thing up! IT IS NOT FAKE! IT is in FACT TRUE that the raindeers come from Amazonas and that they are flesh eating monsters who collect bricks and cause torment to people living there. Their howling at night makes it feel like a zombie army is marching towards you. Which just makes it almost impossible to sleep. Geez.

And I never knew guys could get wet in their panties. I got to tell you, that came as a shock to me! I'd never imagine such a thing to happend. But it did! And it seemed like it would be awesome. Yeah, Batman...

There's a new desease out there! It's called "Rock Crabs" and I got to tell you, it sounds heavy! Wandering around with rocks in your crotch that can't be good!

Well this bullshit is over, I can't make up enough crap today so go to the store and buy me some pills will you?

And as you all know, we always welcome new pirate smokers to our clan. Join us, or be an infidale.

Movies

Black Sheep, I saw this movie, and God it was awful. The only movie which I've seen which were just this awful would be Rise of The Dead - Necrotopolis(or something)... Seriously these two movies were just awful, simply awful. Seriously, horrible actors, horrible script, horrible plot, those two movies were just horrible and I hope those who made them will learn from their mistakes and "at least try" to make a better movie. "Oh yeah, we should make George W Bush the mastermind which unleashes a zombie horde into the public"... Personaly I have no idea what they were smoking at the time.

Maybe a 4 year old will find these movies entertaining. I don't think they even tried when they made them. No scary things, not even the zombies were good. Here's a little tip, don't hire bums you find on the street.

Death Note movies were OK... L Changes The World was my favorite. Less "Shinigami" graphics and more killing. Death Note movies just didn't hit it. Sure they had a lot of fans that demanded more, but ask your self... Was it worth it?... I rest my case. And by the way, what the hell happend to Michael?

Mind Hunters - Good movie. That's all... Btw at 1:32 in the movie you see a raindeer...

Scary Movie 4 - Worth watching... Far from as good as the older ones, but still worth watching.

Brothers Grimm - Fuck off. Don't ever watch this movie, unless your a 6 year old that is.

Iron Man - Cool Movie. A few fun scenes and deffiently worth watching.

Life of Brian - Childrens movie. A childrens movie, worth watching but I kinda got lost on the plot.

Walk The Line - A must see movie. Great story, good actors, and go buy the dvd NOW!

Mission Impossible 3 - Worth watching... Fucking raindeers all over the place.

Resident Evil Apocalypse - They lost it. They should have stopped picking their noses and got to work.

Well now time for some more random bullshit instead of complaining about movies... Yes right now I don't have very much to do.

Go eat an antena!

Fellow pirate smokers, I bring you sad news. Today we lost an honourable pirate smoker. Little Jimmy stopped smoking. His mother caught him while he was showering and smoking at the same time (don't ask). So I would like to apologize to Little Jimmy, and let's all have a one minute silence to remember dear Jimmy.

Bored

Well since I'm bored I'll check this out, if they removed my blogg or whatever... Well crack pipes, hypocondria, cheese steak Jimmy's, and wonder woman.

Santa

Many think Santa is a fictional carracter made up by parents who want to give their children false hope.

However! I will tell you all today! Santa DID infact live.

Shoot I don't remember all the details... Here goes.

Many belive that Santa was a fat guy living at the North Pole, or maybe it was south anyway.

They belived that he was living with a bunch of raindeers and midgets. The midgets made toys to give to children around the world (that's a lot of midgets). However sometimes they ran away and that's why there are plenty of them living around the world today (no offence)

And the raindeers escaped to Amazonas. However back to the point! The raindeers "flew" around the world helping Santa deliver cakes, and by that I mean toys.

Santa was actually a man called "Saint Nicolas". However children couldn't pronounce his name and it ended up as "Santa Claus". Saint Nicolas gave toys to children each day on Cristhmas eve. He also had a dog! However I don't see how people can mistake a dog for a raindeer...

Well you can google this or whatever. But I hope you enjoyed my bullshit.

Thanks to my beautiful princess for giving me the idea <3 I'm so happy that I met you :)

Soulja Boy

I will sometimes post stuff, well I will mostly post stuff that isn't about pirate smoking.


Well well, let's see... I know! I can rant about Soulja Boy!

Yes, I seriously hate Soulja Boy. A wannabe rapist indeed. He is one of the few people you would say that are giving "rap" a new meaning - Retard Attempting Poetry.

However, this is not even poetry. Personaly, I think it sounds like he made all his songs at McDonalds "Super Size Dat". I mean seriously, who the hell goes to McDonalds to write their lyrics? Who else but Soulja Boy? C'mon even my dog can write lyrics about McDonalds. And what's with his pants? He should wear panties instead! It's a miracle that they aren't falling down.

Well that's my random bullshit for now.

The Pirate Smoking

The legend goes, that one day. The pirate smokers will smoke even more.

How to smoke like a pirate.

First, light your siggarete. Carefully, putt the siggarete in your mouth. If you are new to smoking, then you will need this first. If you allready have been smoking, you can skip this step.

1: Now, if your a newb at smoking the first thing you will need is a lighter and a pack of siggaretes.

2: Great job! Now that you have your pack of siggaretes, try putting one of them in your mouth.

3: Get the lighter ready. You have a siggarete in your mouth now and a lighter in your hand. Light the siggarete and breath in, however quickly breath out again so you wont actually get any of the lighter gass in your loungs.

4: Now that your siggarete is litt, take a deep breath, try saying "Apple Cake" while taking a deep breath.

5: Take your hand on the siggarete, and take it out.

6: Putt the siggarete back in your mouth when your ready to take another hit.

7: Repeat, take a hit from the smoke take the smoke out of your mouth, breath out. Repeat this until you are a licensed smoker.

Great! First times you smoke you will have what we call "Nico-Shock". You will feel a bit dizzy,sick,drunk whatever pleases your word of expersion.

Now over to the ones who wishes to become pirate smokers.

Step 1: Putt the siggarete in your mouth, light it like usualy.

2: However, you do NOT take the siggarete out. You leave it there. Try leaving it around your lips.

3: Breath in like usual. And breath out of your mouth, if you can't do this your either retarded or a new-born smoker.

4: If your really struggling with this, just breath out of your nose. Now try breathing out the smoke on the other side of the siggarete.

5: If you can do this right. Congratulations! You are now a pirate smoker!