Santa

Many think Santa is a fictional carracter made up by parents who want to give their children false hope.

However! I will tell you all today! Santa DID infact live.

Shoot I don't remember all the details... Here goes.

Many belive that Santa was a fat guy living at the North Pole, or maybe it was south anyway.

They belived that he was living with a bunch of raindeers and midgets. The midgets made toys to give to children around the world (that's a lot of midgets). However sometimes they ran away and that's why there are plenty of them living around the world today (no offence)

And the raindeers escaped to Amazonas. However back to the point! The raindeers "flew" around the world helping Santa deliver cakes, and by that I mean toys.

Santa was actually a man called "Saint Nicolas". However children couldn't pronounce his name and it ended up as "Santa Claus". Saint Nicolas gave toys to children each day on Cristhmas eve. He also had a dog! However I don't see how people can mistake a dog for a raindeer...

Well you can google this or whatever. But I hope you enjoyed my bullshit.

Thanks to my beautiful princess for giving me the idea <3 I'm so happy that I met you :)

Soulja Boy

I will sometimes post stuff, well I will mostly post stuff that isn't about pirate smoking.


Well well, let's see... I know! I can rant about Soulja Boy!

Yes, I seriously hate Soulja Boy. A wannabe rapist indeed. He is one of the few people you would say that are giving "rap" a new meaning - Retard Attempting Poetry.

However, this is not even poetry. Personaly, I think it sounds like he made all his songs at McDonalds "Super Size Dat". I mean seriously, who the hell goes to McDonalds to write their lyrics? Who else but Soulja Boy? C'mon even my dog can write lyrics about McDonalds. And what's with his pants? He should wear panties instead! It's a miracle that they aren't falling down.

Well that's my random bullshit for now.

The Pirate Smoking

The legend goes, that one day. The pirate smokers will smoke even more.

How to smoke like a pirate.

First, light your siggarete. Carefully, putt the siggarete in your mouth. If you are new to smoking, then you will need this first. If you allready have been smoking, you can skip this step.

1: Now, if your a newb at smoking the first thing you will need is a lighter and a pack of siggaretes.

2: Great job! Now that you have your pack of siggaretes, try putting one of them in your mouth.

3: Get the lighter ready. You have a siggarete in your mouth now and a lighter in your hand. Light the siggarete and breath in, however quickly breath out again so you wont actually get any of the lighter gass in your loungs.

4: Now that your siggarete is litt, take a deep breath, try saying "Apple Cake" while taking a deep breath.

5: Take your hand on the siggarete, and take it out.

6: Putt the siggarete back in your mouth when your ready to take another hit.

7: Repeat, take a hit from the smoke take the smoke out of your mouth, breath out. Repeat this until you are a licensed smoker.

Great! First times you smoke you will have what we call "Nico-Shock". You will feel a bit dizzy,sick,drunk whatever pleases your word of expersion.

Now over to the ones who wishes to become pirate smokers.

Step 1: Putt the siggarete in your mouth, light it like usualy.

2: However, you do NOT take the siggarete out. You leave it there. Try leaving it around your lips.

3: Breath in like usual. And breath out of your mouth, if you can't do this your either retarded or a new-born smoker.

4: If your really struggling with this, just breath out of your nose. Now try breathing out the smoke on the other side of the siggarete.

5: If you can do this right. Congratulations! You are now a pirate smoker!